


Vulgar[ism]

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Angst, Cumshot, Explicit Language, Fluff, Frottage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-31
Updated: 2009-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-29 10:42:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/686030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Die watches Kyo on stage during the tour, the blood and sweat pouring from his sculpted body, and he finds he can no longer stand to simply watch. He wants him bad enough to take his chances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulgar[ism]

**Author's Note:**

> Beta Readers: witheringwhite, Aoi~  
> Song[s]: Code of Vulgar[ism] DVD by Dir en grey

Die's POV

I can't help but watch you. All night, from the corner of my eye, I watch. Your sweaty torso, finely sculpted abs dripping with a mixture of blood and sweat, black hair still defying gravity hours after you've put it up. Those jeans... so low on your hips, hugging your ass in all the rights ways. The black eye shadow spreading, running, mascara dripping right along with your sweat.

Even as I try to ignore it, I simply want you more and more. The way you put your all into this, your voice betraying every ounce of pain in your body - it eats away at me. I love you and I want you to know it more and more with every passing second. And yet... I'll never say those words to you. I'd never dare. For what would you say in return? Stinging rejection or cold disbelief? Maybe both... maybe more.

Even as we slip backstage to change, I can't keep my eyes off you. My body and mind are torn. I want you. I want you so bad that I would give almost anything to be able to take you, to have you, even if just for one night. But my mind screams at me, telling me it's not right. We're co-workers, bandmates... best friends. But, in the end, what does that even matter?

We file back out on stage, your body cleaner and that damn cute white tank on. I just... I want to rip it off you and eat you alive as you scream my name in ecstasy. The thought startles me into blushing. If it weren't for my makeup, I'd be stuck looking like an idiot in front of everyone. I calm my racing heart, my raging libido quelled for the moment by the music. Without thought, I throw myself into it, just as you do. Together, we rile the crowd, all five of us, pulling everything from them, drawing the last bits of strength they have out.

And by the time it's all said and done, by the time we're standing backstage again, panting and half-exhausted... I already know what I want, what I'll do. It doesn't matter tonight. You could tell me to go straight to hell and I'd just let you tell me that. But I want you and I don't want to never know if you would have accepted me. Instead, I'll see what your answer is. If it's no, I'll leave it at that. If it's yes... we'll see.

The rest of our time backstage is spent with us cleaning up and me wondering like hell how I'm going to do this. How, exactly, does one tell their longtime friend that they're completely and totally in lust with them, that they want to fuck them into the nearest wall until the scream? It's laughable, in a way.

My body is growing impatient with me and you're looking impatient to leave. Then I see it: my chance. The other's aren't ready. You and I are. Standing up, I make my way to you and sling an arm around your shoulder, grinning as my partially red hair falls in my eyes. "Ready, Kyo?"

You nod, not even bothering with pushing my arm away. Instead, you're almost resting on me. It feels so incredibly nice, your warmth seeping into me, the life in your small body blending with my own. My heart pounds in my chest. "We'll take a cab first, then. Come on." I tug you lightly along with me and we make our way to the back exit and out into the chilly night air. You shiver and I tighten my hold on you.

I'm surprised, actually, that no one protested us leaving so quickly. But then, why would they care? You've done it before. We all have at some point. The need to escape to our own personal bubbles and just lay in our hotel rooms dying after a live. Rest so incredibly needed it isn't even funny.

I hail a cab, sliding in after I let you in and quickly telling the driver our destination. We pull away from the curb and I sit back with a soft sigh, tempted to put an arm around you again, but scared to at the same time. What if you really don't want it? But you didn't push me away before. The thought pushes me forward and I reach out, slipping my arm around you and pulling you closer.

Almost to my own surprise, you snuggle up to my side, shivering a bit. That smile, teasing your lips as you look up at me. And my heart warms with the knowledge that that look is all for me - just me, no one else. I return it with one of my own and you rest your head on my shoulder, one hand resting on my thigh.

I can almost feel your body drain out, an expulsion of energy and everything else that is truly you. I hold you so tenderly that I'm certain it has to show how I really feel. How can it not? I'm cradling you like a lover, not like a best friend and certainly not like a co-worker. But you don't protest and soon enough, I realize you've fallen asleep on me. You trust me that much... you feel that safe. That warms me to the core.

When we pull up to the hotel, I'm reluctant to wake you, but I do it anyway, with a soft apology for it. You slide out of the cab and plod toward the hotel, my arm still supporting your smaller body. My room is closer and I take you there instead of your own. Again, you don't protest, simply following me in when I unlock the door. It feels so right.

I slip all the locks into place on the door before following you to where you're struggling with your shoes. I push you lightly onto the bed and kneel down, untying them for you and taking them off. Next come your socks and then I just... keep going. If you want me to stop, you'll stop me. I know you will. My fingers pry your jacket from your torso, flinging it aside. Then comes your tank top, I resist the urge to rip it off and instead you raise your arms, letting me drag it up and off you.

My fingers slide over your skin, something I've wanted to do for years and never could. Your muscles twitch beneath my fingers, but you don't say a word, just lean back on your hands, your eyes closed. I find your belt and I work it loose, pausing only a moment to study you before I undo the button and then your zipper. And a moment later, when my fingers slip under the band of you pants to tug them down, you even lift your hips for me. My heart beats painfully in my chest as I pull them off, sliding them down your toned legs, letting them fall to the floor.

Trembling, my hands reach for you again, this time sliding up your thighs to your boxer briefs, sliding up to the waistband where I pause yet again. Now you open your eyes and watch me, almost with interest. It's like... you know I'm going to do it, but you're curious about it rather than mad or anything else. Slowly, almost painfully so, I take your waistband and begin to tug it downward, my eyes flicking down to watch what I'm revealing. Smooth, pale skin - toned just like the rest of you, the finest dust of hair leading down - a trail to my treasure. A single vein, throbbing and so prominent that I can't help but trace it lightly with my thumb as I pull the material away.

And then I reveal you, in all your glory. Truly a sight to behold. Neatly trimmed, not a single hair left untouched, your half-hard length swelling even as I gaze upon it, and the gentle swell of your balls, so tempting just below. My own body reminds me what I want as I draw your boxer briefs off and toss them aside. Only then, do I meet your eyes again, licking my lips somewhat nervously as I move back up, my hand going to your cheek to cup it, my lips ghosting across your own.

You smile, genuinely smile, into the kiss. "Die..." I stop, scared that you're nothing but amused at what I'm doing; that you don't want this like I do. "I never dreamed the first thing you'd touch after getting me naked would be my cheek." You chuckle softly and I breathe out a sigh of relief, my own laugh joining with yours.

"It's not just your cock I want, you know." My hands fall away to attack my own clothing, pushing the jacket from my shoulders as my feet struggle from my shoes. My feet working to get my socks off as my fingers go to war with my pants. You want me. You want this.

The seconds tick past and soon enough, I'm free of my own clothing, crawling up on the bed with you, urging you back. You go, not complaining as I nip at your neck, tasting the sweat there. I shudder as your hands fall on me, fingers dancing over my abdomen, across my hips, and then down to grip my ass and squeeze. When you yank me down on you, it's abrupt and I gasp at the contact, moaning as you grind up against me. It's everything I wanted, everything I imagined, our bodies sliding against one another in the utmost urgency.

One of our phones starts vibrating in our pants, but I ignore it and you do, too, your hips frantically moving against my own. Your cock is so hard between us as you pant and gasp my name, over and over, a mantra of sorts.

I moan against your neck, sucking there before heatedly telling you everything. "So long... I've wanted you so long." My own hips begin to move against you urgently, the need of so long straining to be fulfilled.

Your fingers grasp my ass harder as you spread your legs more, moving me down your sweaty body until I'm settled at your entrance. "Do it... fuck me, Die." Your voice is shaking, your hands trembling.

And it's then that I know something's off. Some part of you wants this, but another part is so terrified by it that you'd do anything to shut it up. But I won't let you destroy everything like this. Instead, I push your hips back down, moving back to where our lengths are touching, brushing with our every movement, and resume the pace we'd set up. I move back to kiss you, licking at your lips and then tasting you fully.

Your fingers claw at my back as you thrust back against me, giving in to what you need, feeding my lust right along with your own. One of my hands tangles in your hair as I kiss you almost violently, tasting the blood from earlier on your tongue. We fuck, in the most passionate of ways two men can, our cocks rubbing between us, against one another as we labor. And then the most beautiful moment of my life comes, your back arching up, your hips snapping forward as you rip your mouth from mine and cry out my name. Warmth spills between us as you throb against me.

I just move faster, my mind fogged with want, my head bowed as I watch you release, as I watch my cock slide through your cum over and over as I work for it. I'm not long behind you, my body shuddering as I whisper your name in your ear, the sound of it rolling off my tongue as it always does in my fantasies. And then my offering is joining yours, mixing with it as I force those last few thrusts.

Panting, I simply stop, bowing my head and kissing your shoulder, holding you just as I have been this entire time. The seconds tick by, and then...

"Die?"

"Yes?" Worry clouds my mind. You regret it so soon? I don't want you to regret this... never this.

"Why? Why me?"

And there's only one answer. One I know I have to give you or you'll know I'm lying to you. But I try to give half the truth anyway, even knowing it's a lost cause. "I've always wanted you."

"It's more than that... isn't it?" You sound so confident.

I nod a bit, letting a soft sigh leave my lips. "It is."

And to my surprise, you don't ask for clarification. You don't make me tell you that I'm in love. That's not what you need from me. You just need the knowledge that this wasn't just a fuck... that you mean more than that to me.

Your arms wrap around me and you turn us a little so you can snuggle up to me. I hold you tight and you kiss my shoulder ever so gently. "If it weren't more... you would have just fucked me when I said to."

"But I didn't."

You nod, kissing my neck this time. "And that told me everything I needed to know."

We're silent for so long I almost regret breaking it to ask... but I have to know. "And to you? What was this?"

Somewhere between sleep and awake, you reply, your voice strained and husky. "So much."

And I find that that is all I need to know.

**The End**  



End file.
